![]() ![]() Spelling “soldier” wrong is not clever because the Bone Thugs family already did that over a decade ago. If people told me they thought rap was moronic because they heard “Crank That” on the radio I’d have no good response. The makers of Fruity Loops should be drug out in the streets and beaten with your Bathing Apes for ever giving you the ability to become a musician. Nobody wants to hear you talk about how great your tennis shoes and your cell phones are for three minutes straight every song. Your music is as painful to listen to as your dance is painful to watch. When people said hip-hop was dead in 2007 they were talking about YOUUUUUU Soulja Boy. I have to get this off my chest before I can review his new album. The words that follow will offend SB’s fans as much as listening to offended me. Click on the Google search bar and search for anything – free music, porn, directions to Wal*Mart, whatever. Soulja Boy fans (and I know you’re out there) may want to stop reading right now. SB (or his ghostwriter) actually made me laugh on “Report Card” by parodying Rich Boy.“Soulja Girl” was a cliched but otherwise halfway decent quiet storm song.Hip-Hop needed more steel drums in it and “Crank That (Soulja Boy)” provided some.After thinking about it long and hard I finally came up with three positive things I could say about SB and his last album. 9 times out of 10 I try to start reviews on a positive or informative note even if in the end I’m going to trash the entire album as being garbage. There’s also the tried and true method of talking about the artist’s success (or failure) on previous albums, but SB had only one retail album under his belt before this one. Normally I try to share with the readers some relevant biographical or factual information about the artist in question, but in SB’s case I just don’t care. It’s a very onerous task for me to write an opening paragraph about Soulja Boy. ![]()
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